THE AMAZING ASIAN UNICORN

asian teen living in london, england. reblogs tv shows, funny stuff, food, movies, hot people and pretty things.

spoopybarakarts:

when my mom was 30ish, my dad took her to this garage band concert as a date and she really liked them so she bought a cd from them and talked to them for a few hours then promised to keep in touch with them and show everyone her cd, but later forgot. So 10 or so years later theyre on the radio and she just smacks her head then says, “fuck i forgot to show everyone the cd” and that is the story of how my mom let Adam Levine and the rest of Maroon 5 down.

(via asymmetric-boobjob)

  • (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
  • Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
  • Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
  • Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
  • Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
  • Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
  • (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
  • Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
  • (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
  • Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
  • Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
  • Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
  • (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

fooffriend:

Can we talk about how The Lego Movie was promoted by a catchy song (Everything is Awesome) designed to make people get it stuck in their head and make for catchy review titles? But in the movie itself the song was used as a corporate brainwashing tool to keep Brickburg unaware of President Business’ true intentions? The Lego Movie is beyond meta. It was parodying itself before it even hit theaters. How is that even possible.

(via pocketsized-prophet)

peterpettigrewsbutt:

rubeus remus potter not albus severus

can you imagine hagrid’s reaction?? he would be so so so happy and honoured, little rubeus would be getting rock cakes all the time. hagrid buys him his first owl to keep with tradition. hagrid tells him stories about all his dangerous animals and rubeus potter loves it. he gets nicknamed ‘ru’

(via gwenmstacey)